The secret to happiness according to the published results to the Harvard Grant Study is strong and healthy relationships:
The study lends authority to and confirms what our common sense tells us when we are tuned into it. Introverts or extroverts, we are social beings. We smile when loved and close ones share their joy with us. We feel unsettled when we detect their sorrows, worries, frustrations, anger and anxieties. These affect us more so if we recognize (and often reluctant to admit) ourselves as the cause of their emotional struggles.
I hate conflicts but I know I have to hold their shoulders, look them in the eye and work it through for unresolved, they fester and hardens the heart.
When a conflict arises, it doesn’t matter who is senior or junior, right or wrong, I tell myself (after I have calmed down of course):”say sorry”. We are all human regardless of station, rank or file. It takes two (or more sometimes) to create conflict. I apologize for the part I played in the clash. Then I analyze the situation and series of events and behaviors that led to it, learn and commit to never repeating it.
This is a process I have explicitly shared with Mister M and thankfully, he understands.
This is not a boast post. Conflict resolution is a constant struggle for us. I strive to avoid conflict and achieve an everybody-wins scenario because dealing with it sucks… the life out of me. But I’m realistic to know it is impossible. In fact, conflict is necessary at times for growth.
I am merely a participant in the social experiment called parenting who have benefitted from sharing by others.
I write to share my thoughts and experiences. I write to invite you to share yours with me and other parents on the same experimental journey.
What strategies to building lasting relationships worked for you?