When you are a parent, you learn to:
- be patient.
The kid needs time to cool down when frustrated and angry, needs space to let the why-don’t-you-consider-doing-this-instead-of-that-which-got-you-into-trouble-talk sink in, before desired action is taken.
- have faith.
Even when desired action is not taken or worse, the unfortunate behaviour persists, know that the brain’s frontal cortex that controls impulses is far from developed in the earlier years. Not being able to rein in undesirable doings and sayings does not mean the kid is unable to tell what is right from wrong.
- make tough decisions.
Which battles to fight. What words to utter when in extremely challenging situations. What actions to take. When to comfort and to be tough.
- stand back and watch.
The kid will try and fail. No matter. Let the kid try and fail again. Let the kid make all the mistakes to learn now rather than later or scarily, never.
I am no parenting expert nor neuroscientist. It’s been 12 years 6 months and I am still trying and failing. Trying again and failing sometimes. More importantly, learning, celebrating the achievements/improvements big and small my kid and I are making everyday.
Like my Mother’s Day present which the kid prepared and I printed.